how many dates before sleeping together

How Many Dates Before Sleeping Together?

Now I know this isn’t an exact science but I’ve done a little research into how many dates it takes before sleeping together and the results are interesting to say the least. I thought it would be only fair to cover this from both sexes’ points of view.
The headline answer to this is simple, men, on the whole, will have sex immediately. Women, on the other hand, tend to need an emotional connection with a guy before taking the plunge. For a more in-depth answer, continue reading below.

Enjoy!

how many dates before sleeping together infographic

HOW MANY DATES BEFORE SLEEPING TOGETHER?

A lot of guys make the mistake of assuming too many things after a few dates with their love interest. You need to get this right, there is no specific number of dates that determines when you are granted access to her body. So many things have to have already taken place before you even consider sleeping with her.

You must have gone on a number of dates, you ought to have had your first kiss or kisses and you need to be comfortable with each other to that extent. The idea of how many dates you have to go on or the timeline that must elapse before that happens is a matter of perspective. Guys and girls naturally have differing views on this.

Guys are wired differently than ladies and quite often when we have a love interest, our thoughts are dominated by sex. So if you asked any random guy when the right time to have sex with a girl is, the answer is probably going to be yesterday. Most guys will have sex with a woman first and then afterwards start to decide whether or not he can actually stand the her presence. But if as a guy you are actually thinking about the best time to have sex with a woman you’re dating, it means you have factored in her own feelings into the equation and this is a good sign because you want more than just a fling or one night stand.
No one knows exactly how long it takes before it is alright to have sex because the right answer varies from person to person. So in terms of how many dates it takes, there is no specific number of dates, all a guy needs is for the lady to be ready and give all the right signs when the time is right.

So over to you ladies…

Some studies have said that women wait until the third or the fifth date to have sex. At best this is just an average of the number of days a sample of a number of women wait. Women typically wait until they are very sure about the person they intend to have sex with. The act may be more emotional to them and they tend to need deep emotional connection with their love interest.

So yes, some women wait three dates, some five dates, some wait less, some wait even more. It depends on how long it takes for them to be sure. A little persuasion helps but it has to be subtle and with very little pressure, and by this I mean turning up the flirting not anything unsavoury!

One external factor that can determine when sex happens, even if the guy and the girl are ready, is logistics. Hear me out. You can end up going on a number of dates but it might not be very easy to make it happen as there are so many variables that might get in the way. There might be a room-mate that needs to be gotten rid of, there is the issue of being ready at the same time and at the same place.

So unless it’s pre-planned, even when you’re both ready, you may have to wait until the next date so you can make sure everything is set! This ties back to the things women want in men that I wrote about recently, they want you to have your own place and so this will help here too!
There you have it, a somewhat indefinite answer to how many dates it takes before sleeping together I know, but ultimately it comes down to the individual. Just take your time and be a gentleman about it throughout.

Happy dating,

The Frequent Dater 

2 comments

  • I was dating one lady who could be very flirtatious but she had a 20 date rule about being intimate… She also kept canceling dates too… So by the time we should of at least hit date 5, we really had only been on 2… (or closer to 1.5) as she kind of bolted during it… But still kept trying to tell me she wanted me…. I ended it… She said she was hurt when I started dating someone else…. Am I right in thinking that really as she and I were NOT actually in a relationship that I am still free to date someone more, lets be honest, Sane? She did not seem to want me to date anyone else, but on the same side did not want to move forward with me… She claimed she wanted to go slow, and I was fine with that, but she was almost moving so slow it was closer to backwards. I was a true gentleman as I normally am… Did not even get to the Hand holding stage, much less a kiss.
    PS Thanks for your website… it has proven a great asset to me as I am newly divorced (3 years ago)… and my dating skills are a bit rusty… I was married for over 22 years….

    • The Frequent Dater

      Hi Dennis, thanks for your message. I’d like to put you at ease about the moving on from “20 date rule woman”, you were absolutely not in a relationship and she obviously just thought you’d hang around and wait forever. There’s no wrongdoing on your part there.

      I’m glad the site has been of use to you, it’s great to hear from my readers so please don’t hesitate to get in touch again.

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